Officially Moved In ...

Im officially moved in to my new apartment. The past month, since getting my stuff ready, I've felt like I've been in a between stage. Now that I've found a home for most of my stuff and most of my furniture is set up, I feel like I'm at home.

I'm happy to have moved out of Parkdale and into the Trinity-Bellwoods neighbourhood. Although my building is undergoing complete massive change with construction going on everyday of the week, its a pleasure living here. The population here seems to fit my personality type. There's plenty of young trendy people living in the neighbourhood. The King St. West trendy crowd is complemented by the hipness of Queen St. West. There's Trinity Bellwoods Park to the North, Stanley Park to the South. Lakeshore, Coronation Park, The CNE and Ontario Place are all within a 5 minute walk from my place.

I'm hoping to begin meeting my neighbours here since they appear to be much friendlier than the crowd @ my former address. As a way to break the ice, I've just installed an Airport network in my apartment. For those who don't know, it's an internet wireless network. Anybody within 150ft of my apartment (so basically anybody in the building) will see my network pop up on their computer if they have a Wi-Fi equipped PC or Mac. The name of my Airport is, of course, www.iPedro.com. This way, anybody in my building will be able to see this web address and will hopefully check out my site and recognize me in the elevator, hallway, gym, laundry room or in the building's new park/courtyard.

For those of you just visiting...



... Welcome to my Network and my Homepage.

If by any chance the music coming from my apartment is too lound ... come join the party! You're invited!

Education Phase I: Mission Accomplished

Last night, I completed the last of my courses at George Brown required to receive a certificate in Foundation of Desktop Publishing.
At this time last year, I had only a desire to go to school to kick start improvements in my life but I didn't see how it would be possible since I needed to work full time. I researched and found a way. I'm now officially a graphic designer!

I'll be going back to George Brown next September to work on 3 more courses which will give me a Designer's certificate at a professional level. I plan to be a student for quite some time, tackling more and more of GBC's design and web courses. My goal is that by this time next year, I'll be starting a four year program in advertising design @ either Sheridan or Humber College or if I work hard enough, at OCAD (Ontario College of Art & Design).

Recovery

It happened again.

As I'm attempting to recover from being enfatuated with "The Girl", and doing well as a matter of fact, signs keep on popping up telling me "DON'T FORGET HER"! Her name isn't exactly very common, but somehow, it keeps appearing in my daily routine. I saw a t-shirt with the name of the island where she's from. I'm getting work assignments with her name all over it... I can't tell much of a story without giving away her name, so you'll just have to take my word for it on how I seem to be finding her name in the most coincidental places.

At the beginning of this blog, I wrote "it happened again". Well... it did. I was hired to work as a photographer for an event @ The Century Room club. I had never been there and I was hired because my boss was going on vacation and needed somebody to cover for him. I agreed. The day before, I was told I was no longer needed for this assignment but could still go if I so decided. I nearly took the opportunity to take the weekend off, but I decided to go nonetheless.

As I arrived, I began taking pictures immediately. I captured great shots of individual couples, of groups, of the crowds. As I moved outside to the patio, which was bustling with people, I decided to get some delayed exposure shots to demonstrate movement. As I set up my tripod and lens settings and began shooting, somebody approached me and covered the camera. For a moment, I thought it was a club coordinator who didn't know who I was and was asking me to stop taking pictures. I looked up. Focused my eyes in the dimly lit patio and across from me stood "The Girl"!

Serendipity, all over again.

Toronto has the largest densley clustered club scene in North America. Out of thousands of clubs, bars, lounges and cafés ... we were once again in the same place at the same time. I was happy to see her. My newfound friend (as I'm trying to see her) and I were in the same club. We chatted, she got me a drink, I took photos of her, we took a great one together. I tried to ignore the lottery number worthy odds we both confronted to reach that point. I AM trying to recover, but this isn't helping.

Somebody, something is trying to deliver us a message. What it is? Common, I need more signs. Write it on a paper airplane and send it down ... Be more specific please!

Later, she was ready to leave and I lost her in the crowd as I continued my work photographing the happy crowds.

All of a sudden, I realized that the opposite of rejection was happening to me. I was being lusted. Countless girls were coming up to me wanting to be photographed, some hugged me, others took my hands to dance, others still came for a talk. One of them recognized me from being at a club 3 weeks ago and came for a talk. Two girls came up to me wanting to be photographed and wanted me in the picture. I tried, but when you got a big SLR in your hand, it's not practical. Still, they loved the blurry shot. They wanted my number, e-mail ... something. I gave one my card. The other wanted one too. They left and I walked away. Moments later, one of them grabbed my ass! What the! They gave me a sexual stare as they walked pass me. Whoa! "I'm working ... I ... can't ... leave ... with... them" - I thought. Later, the club's belly dancers came to give me a private dance. I photographed them and I'm sure that's what they were there for. During the night I gave out nearly 30 cards and got a bunch back. I was wondering what was having this influence on these girls. Was it the fact that I was in controle of their captured images? Was it that I was in a suit looking like a club official? As Rob Breadner put it, cameras are like a baby, a puppy and a kitten all rolled into one. Whatever it was, I need to do that more often!











This week will be known as the week my ego went from kick in the pants to leader of the ants. What a rollercoaster ride!

As for "The Girl", I dont think I need to keep my eye out for serendipity. If it wants me, it'll find me.

Rejection

We've all been rejected at some point in our lives. In our love lives, our professional career or even on the school baseball team. Somehow, it seems to sting just the same as if it were the first time. Somehow we don't don't learn how to cope better.

This past week, I experienced that sting again. For my coping mechanism, I'm going to write about it here in my blog.

Somebody -- to protect her privacy, we'll call her "The Girl" -- who I had been reading signs from for the past month seemed to be giving all good vibes. The look in her eyes staring straight into mine on a constant basis, the physical touching, the looking over at me everytime she passed by, the acceptance of a "date" and plans for future get-togethers, the way everything about us seemed to fall within the same ideologies. All indicated that we were interested in each other and that it would take just one of us breaking out of our shy bubble and admiting it to start us on a path to a new story.

After spending a week anxious to tell her how I wanted to take our friendship further, one day, after saying goodbye to her, my phone rang. It was Purolator. I had a package waiting for me @ the Bay & Adelaide depot. I slowly walked over, spoke with the lady at the counter ... who happened to have the same name as "The Girl". I smirked at the coincidence while at the same time feeling like a loser that I hadn't been able to tell her that day how I felt. As the purolator lady went in the back to get my package, I watched as the rush hour crowd passed by outside the window. All of a sudden: "The Girl" passed right by. Time seemed to stand still as I thought of the implications. She left minutes before I did, there are several downtown streets that she could have taken, I got this call immediately after she left. Coincidence? I had a sudden urge to run outside, take her hands and tell her right there in the middle of the streaming crowds how I felt. I hesitated. She walked further and further away.

I went home later. The package was the Adobe CS2 software I had ordered. I installed it and was unable to register the product online. I called Customer Service and was taken care of. As I was read an unlocking code, the phone connection fell. Frustrated, I called back and was greeted by a different customer service rep. I shivered when he said his name. Once again, the same as "The Girl". I finished off with him and paced through my apartment wondering if this was some sign that I should just call her right now and tell her over the phone. I sent her a text message in case she was in a situation inappropriate for talking about the issue I wanted to discuss. It read: "If you believe in Serendipity, call me". I didn't get the call.

The next day, my creative fluids were bubbling in my brain. My muse was inspiring me more than I've been in years. I was coming up with a concoction of a plan to let her know my feelings in a big way. Of course, being me, I can't light a candle, I'll light a fireworks display.
I had memorized her address so I decided to send her flowers. I searched the city for the most perfect bouquet and finally settled on a place on King St West, near where I now live. I put together a beautiful bouquet of red roses lined with several other smaller red flowers. I couldn't wait to see her expression the next day. To compliment the roses, I wasn't going to settle on just writing a card to express what I've been wanting to tell her forever. I wrote a poem.

Again, to protect her privacy, I'll change her name in the poem to "Girl".


"Girl", I must say
there's not a day you'll find
that the jewel of your name
doesn't come to my mind

The Universe tells me
through signs I can't deny
that it is conspiring
to begin the story of you and I

I was pulled from my past
guided through a life intersection
and found my future at last
when I was pushed in your direction

Like two celestial bodies
making one from the two
I feel that stronger through time
I gravitate towards you

From wine to books
lifestyle to spirituality
from the way it looks
we're in perfect synchrony

Your mind is set on the land of the rising sun
please don't go away
let me be your reason
the reason for you to stay

I want you to know me
I want to discover you
I know we will see
what we are destined to

I long to touch your soft skin
run my fingers through your hair
kiss your neck, your shoulders
yes ... right there

I didn't mean to drag this on
see, I've been enchanted by you from the start
but I had to be certain
that this wouldn't break my heart

My heart, long shut
Now I open for you these doors
should your heart desire mine
"Girl", I'm all yours



After having the flowers delivered, the clock ticked. No call.... all day, I waited in agony for the phone to ring. It never did.
I saw her the next morning and knew by the disconfort in her eyes what her answer was. We had a very mature conversation openly speaking our minds. I told her how I felt, she told me how she was overwhelemed and is not ready for comittment. I thank her very much for that conversation. It lifted a lot of weight from my mind. I respect her decision and will move on, hoping to keep our relationship as growing friends.

In the end, I think it was my fireworks that doomed the declaration. Had I just taken things slowly, the obvious feelings would have seeped into her mind.
I'm choosing to learn from this instead of just hoping that next time around it goes better.

I'll learn to light more candles and less fireworks.